sambat #1

birokrasi menuntut kreasi tapi ironisnya birokasi pun menghambat kreasi.

Sakit

Mungkin saat ini saya sedang sakit, tapi sakitnya susah diobatin juga gak kelihatan. Sakitnya susah diprediksi kapan kumatnya, apalagi diprediksi kapan sembuhnya. Aneh ya.

politics

Selamat malam teman, kalian pernah dengar nepotisme? Pasti pernah kan dan banyak sekali kejadian seperti itu dimana mana. Kalo katanya google sihh,

the practice among those with power or influence of favoring relatives or friends, especially by giving them jobs.

  

Yep, nepotisme itu adalah ketika kita memberikan jabatan kepada relatives tapi tidak mempertimbangkan kemampunannya melainkan atas dasar "kekeluargaan"

Sama hal nya disini, ketika kita sudah masuk ke ranah organisasi yang notabene pasti menyentuh politik tipis tipis. Bukan, bukannya saya mau mengkambing hitam kan orang atau berkeluh. Ya mungkin lebih ke yang terakhir sih, berkeluh.

Berkeluh, karena berbicara pun percuma, menulis disini pun karena sebuah emosi yang sudah tidak tertahankan lagi sehingga harus tertuang dalam media apa pun itu, dan disini saya memilih untuk menulis. Dimana saya bebas untuk merealisasikan apa yang ada dalam pikiran lewat kata yang terstruktur dan tidak "asal"

Ya, kembali ke nepotisme. Saya di sini bisa jadi salah seorang korban nepotisme, bukan karena saya punya relasi dan tidak berkompeten. Saya cukup percaya kalau saya berkompeten dan punya pengalaman, orang sekitar pun tidak ragu. Tapi, hanya karena saya punya relasi yang "dekat" dengan seseorang, saya diragukan untuk di tempat kan di tempat yang menurut saya dan orang sekitar adalah "milik" saya.

Mungkin saya tidak terlalu perduli dengan posisi itu, karena toh kalau soal mau dan tidak, masih ada hal lain yang saya mau dan saya cukup punya pengalaman dalam hal itu. Namun yang cukup membuat sakit adalah ketika kemampuan saya diragukan karena kesubjektivan seseorang. Karena "citra"

Baru

Selamat malam menuju pagi, yuk mari belajar sekarang daripada waktu habis dan kesempatan pergi :]

random? banget

Entry

Some of us fall by the wayside
And some of us soar to the stars
And some of us sail through our troubles
And some have to live with the scars

hello there, udah lama banget semenjak gue gak ngepost lagi di blog ini haha well, over posted something is not good too.

okay, mungkin gue sekarang udah belajar banyak banget hal, banyak banget pengalaman-pengalaman yang bisa dijadiin pelajaran, emang bener kata-kata orang terdahulu ya kalo experience is the best teacher. gimana kita mau belajar kalo kita takut untuk mencoba, gagal pun merupakan sebuah proses, sebuah pembelajaran supaya kita menjadi orang yang lebih baik. gue sering banget ditanya lagi pengen apa -terutama kalo habis ulang taun, dan gue juga sering bingung untuk ngejawab apa. gue gak pengen barang apa lah itu kalo gak ngeliat bentuknya, makanya gue selalu bingung buat jawab pertanyaan itu, tapi kalo ditanya keinginan sekarang, gue selalu bilang untuk menjadi orang yang lebih baik. gue sadar gue punya banyaaaak banget kekurangan, banyaak banget hal dari gue yang bikin orang kesel, cause I'm into doing. I always believe the less you think, the happier you will be. tapi bukan berarti gue gak mikir sih, tapi gue cuman gak bisa mengungkapkan pikiran-pikiran gue secara verbal sih, gue lebih suka hanyut dalam pikiran gue sendiri, well sometimes, I want to share it but I'm a very picky person, gue gak suka mendengar tanggapan yang gak gue suka tentang pikiran gue, so dari pada gue mendem sendiri, mungkin lebih baik kalo gue tulis di blog ini haha. mendem itu super gak enak, it's like living a live with no one.

I've just watched "Cinta Brontosaurus" karya Raditya Dika dan "She's Out of My League". dan entah kenapa gue terhenyak dan galau sendiri nontonnya. just like one of my friend said, love never need perfection, love is what made you perfect. no matter what do you wear, what color your skin is, how much people eagerly to get on your shoes, you will never be completely ten. but no matter how ugly you are, when there is someone who loves you, you are ten.

mungkin alasan kenapa kita semua suka galau tentang cinta atau hal-hal unyu lainnya, adalah karena itu bisa bikin hidup lu tuh kayak chitato, tapi kalau hati kita mati, hidup kita bakalan kayak lays. cinta itu bukan cuman ke manusia, bisa ke barang, hewan, tumbuhan dan lainnya. cinta itu luas dan beragam, gaada orang yang bisa menafsirkan arti cinta.

gue pernah suka sama orang yang enggak bisa gue dapetin karena satu dan lain hal, dan gue bilang ke orang itu kalau gue adalah orang yang salah di waktu yang salah. tapi orang itu jawab "bukan orang nya yang salah tapi waktunya yang gak tepat" dan sekarang gue berfikir, bahwa enggak ada takdir yang enggak direncanain, semuanya pasti udah ada jalannya, tergantung gimana kita ngejalaninnya. gue percaya takdir, gue gak percaya kebetulan, mungkin apa pun yang terjadi hari ini bakal nyambung sama cerita di hari kedepannya. semua hal, sekecil apapun hal itu pasti udah di rencanain.

tapi, kita juga gak boleh bego dan dibutain oleh cinta. temen gue pernah bilang "cinta emang buta tapi jangan mau dibutakan oleh cinta, kadang kita tetep harus ngeliat kenyataan meskipun pait tapi ya itu kenyataannya, jangan sampe lu enggak melihat orang yang mencintai lu gara gara seseorang yang enggak mencintai lu balik." yep, he's right, dalam mencintai seseorang, kita tetep harus sadar, jangan sampe kita enggak sadar suka sama seseorang. hargai diri sendiri, hargai proses yang udah dijalani, memang bener, the less you think the happier you will be, tapi kita tetep harus mikir, jangan cuman ngejalanin hidup aja, kita gak mungkin selamanya berjalan lurus, pasti ada masanya kita "nyimpang" sedikit, tapi jangan lupa, kita tetep harus jalan lurus lagi, yakinin dalam hati kalo apa yang selama ini kita lakuin itu, adalah yang terbaik buat kita. kita boleh ngubur masa lalu, tapi kita gak boleh ngelupain masa lalu. masa lalu ada untuk memperbaiki masa depan, ada kalahnya kita jatuh, kita gagal, kita dicaci maki, kita diinjak tapi percaya lah sama roda kehidupan, gak selamanya kita ada dibawah.

that's it.

untitled

How can you understand someone when that person don't understand you?

I think I regret something because I just made a very bad decision, well..it's not my decision.

I write it down in here, so that that person could read this, but I think it won't work, they never care.

first thing fist

yeey first post on 2012! well...it's been a very long time since the last time i saw my blog, hmmm so many things passed by and I just don't want to tell it in here because it could spend your time forever!

okaaay sooo, I have a new boyfie at 20th of June 2011(or perhaps July, I just can't find the difference between those months-_-) his name started with A and ended with E yeah some old jokes

there's soooo many things I really want to write here about him, but I don't want to be spoiled :p

hmmm maybe that's it! I have a feeling that he's gonna see this post and if I talk bad behind his back, he would screw me up! no no no he's not a monster, he's a.............some random person who walks into my life, yeeeey so smurfin lurv him! LOL

hello bloggers long time no see, well I don't have words to say for this mumbling, I just want to type yeah

tropical!

I'm in love with the beauty of the island and the purity of the sea. I promise I will come back again. In the night, I could feel the wind is breezing gracefully, the sound of the water that hit the sea shore, I felt peace in me. Nobody can make me feel better than that. Really, the awesome scenery is tickling around me and makes my guitly feeling fade away! And in the morning, I can feel the fresh air, the birds are singing and...the sun rise. I'M IN LOVE♥♥♥♥♥

I'm taking one step backward just to make sure I'm not already in too deep. I'm afraid of losing so do afraid of loving. I'm not ready and I never be. God please take him faraway from me. I don't want to be close with him. Did I do something wrong? Is this something that I deserve? I need answers in every questions. I can't stand pain, I swear I can't

I dreamed a dream

I woke up in fears and tears

 I saw the boy sitting on the front seat, he wasn't talking, he wasn't moving. sitting silently and gazing empty space between the rhythm.

when I touch him, every thing was cold. I could feel my heart beat beating faster. suddenly, people were shouting "get away get away, that's not the place you should stand"

I don't know what to do and I hug the boy from behind and I know, there was no turning back.

and I woke up in fears and tears falling down. have I found you?

bored

Always act like you're wearing an invisible crown.

hey bloggers, I'm bored and bored and bored but I have sooo many things to do and still...I'm bored -_-

hey entertaiment, I'm here!

random



I was just like this all single time



can you just make the damn clear? cause I just can't see what is your point of view. you're just too odd to be true.

flawless bird, american boy

There is both joy and wonder in coming to understand another.

first post of February -_- okay, it's sooo late and honestly February is the busiest month (for now) I just got lots of tasks #$%^&((#$#%^&

okay now stop mumbling, and I would love to say SELAMAT HARI MAULID NABI! yah daripada merayain valentine lebih baik merayain maulid nabi \m/ hope I can be a better moslem

and after a very very very veeeeery long time stuck in a hopeless guy, maybe right now I find someone that is quite attractive. let's call him mawar. he's sooooo quirky. people who know that I might be like him, laugh their ass hard-_-

and when he told me that he's a shy boy, I was like............you're kiding me right.

well, yeah he makes me felt curious about him. I wanted to know more about him♥

ps. gws ya buat ayahnya novian, believe me I have been in your shoe. cheer up boy!

a bit confession

okay, the title explain everything. so this post is all about confession

the first thing I want to say is...

oh yes! I loveeeee to cook, I loveeee to make something new and I hate failure

the second thing I want to say is...

she's got everything that she wanted but how could she want more?

the third thing I want to say is...

I dislike the way you show your wealth, its kinda cocky for me, oheyoooo mrs. highbrow

the fourth thing I want to say is...

I entrusted my friends for everything, but how could they distrusted me?

 the fifth thing I want to say is...

so envy, do I even have one majority?

 the sixth thing I want to say is...

it's really painful to have someone hate you while you love them

 now, that's some of the words that I want to confess. I know it sounds silly to post it here but I've got no one to hear me say. hey mr/s. somebody right there, do you still consider me as your friend? it's okay if you want to walk away, in fact I don't want to distract you if you don't want to.

love what is true and the world will come to you

when you make a mistake, you become ashamed and regretful and realize a lot of different things. you think of yourself as a failure, yet...even so, that is proof you've advanced one step ahead of where you were before. I'd like to believe that! this time you just to happened to fall through but you're surely advancing one step forward. so no matter how many times you fail, the last standing guy is the strongest

hey bloggers, long time no see ^_^ guess what, my last post is on last year eheee too lazy to make one. I think I'm gonna drop one of my social network such as twitter, formspring, tumblr and maybe I'll drop this too (sadly and it's more than one though)

by the way, have you ever wanted a thing but sometimes you said you don't want it to the others and forget about it but deep inside your heart you want it badly? to be honest, I wanna have my toefl score above 600, it's a very high standart that my parent gave to me but I think I want it too.

my brother said that he got around 540  (I forget exactly the score but I pretty sure it's around 540) not only that, he said that with his score, he can study aboard and he's trying to get schoolarship to Japan. personally I think it suit him 'cause Japan's techology is quite good, not the best but it's far better than here. and he took techology as his main study, man he has the future -_-

sometimes I kinda jealous with my brother, he has everything that he wanted to be, he has the plan while I got the prank. I have nothing to do with my future. I don't know where the future headed but at least we have something like you-call-it-illustration about what are you wanna be.

okay enough with those shit awwwk so long bloggers, till we meet again♥

misery loves company

every inch of my overflowing confidence was shattered, everything that left is only an useless pride

mister holy-day

holiday's greatest enemy is take a bath

do you agree with it? I am absolutely agree with it. and because of that, my mum bought me a night cream, she said that I'm so kucel kumel kayak gembel -_- she's not the only one who said like that awwwk malu aku u.u

not only rarely taking a bath, kadang gua juga suka kalap soal makanan. you see, I could gain 3-5 pounds seriously I don't wanna be fat aaaaa masa udah pendek terus gendut hina sekali diriku u.u

not only rarely taking a bath, gain some weights, gua juga kayaknya menghitam karena pergi mulu -_- uwooo I don't really want to hear my mum's compliment about how do I look right now  -_-

katherine jenkins

merry christmas guuuys, let's fill this day with joy and forgiveness :)

do you know who is she? yep, she is Katherine Jenkins. she have an amazing voice, when I heard her songs, it makes me shiver sometime. I know her when I watched The Magic Of David Foster And Friends David is so amazing so does Katherine.

and have you heard Bring Me To Life song? she released a cover of the song on her album Believe. I won't say that she beat Evanescence 'cause they have their advantages. I love when Amy Lee and Paul McCoy sing together but I also love Katherine's solo.

awwwwwk they raaaaaaaawk ahuahuahuahua